Archive for June, 2011

How many careers actually involve ORCs?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2011 by Kullervo

Ohio’s compilation of statutes is called the “Ohio Revised Code,” or “ORC” for short. HILARIOUS! Because I am a lawyer.

That is all.

New D&D Monster: Foul Hound

Posted in Dungeons & Dragons with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 28, 2011 by Kullervo

Foul Hound

No. Enc.: 1d6
Alignment: Chaotic
Movement: 180’ (60’)
Armor Class: 7
Hit Dice: 3+1
Attacks: 2 (tentacle lash)
Damage: 1d6 plus disease (see below)
Save: F2
Morale: 9
Hoard Class: None
XP: 135

Foul Hounds are large wolves with eyes of baleful green flame and clusters of long, ropy black tentacles emerging from their mouths. They serve evil druids and priests of nature as a boon from the dark gods, and are rarely found in the wild.

The tentacles of a Foul Hound drip with disease, and an adventurer hit by one must save versus poison or be smitten with a horrible fever and die within 2d10 days. The victim may be cured by a cure disease spell, but while sick, takes a -2 penalty to hit rolls and heals from all damage at half the normal rate.

Foul Hounds are also known for their eerie, terrifying howls. An adventurer who hears a Foul Hound’s howl for the first time must save against paralysis or be frozen with madness and fear for 1d6 rounds.

Illustration by David Deitrick

New D&D Monster: Dark Druid

Posted in Dungeons & Dragons with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 28, 2011 by Kullervo

Vercix, the Dark Druid

No. Enc.: 1 (plus 2 Foul Hounds)
Alignment: Chaotic
Movement: 120’ (40’)
Armor Class: 8
Hit Dice: 5
Attacks: 1 (sickle)
Damage: 1d6
Save: C5
Morale: 12
Hoard Class: XV
XP: 365

Vercix was once a guardian of nature before he came into contact with powerful forces of corruption that drove him murderously insane. Now he practices an evil, twisted from of nature magic, doing the bidding of the dark whispers that he hears in his dreams and spreading corruption wherever he can.

He stands tall and straight, clean-shaven and bald with thick, ugly features. Vercix wears a crown of poison ivy and a mouldering gray hooded robe trimmed with thorny vines. In combat, he wields a wickedly sharp sickle forged from an ill-looking green iron. He is always accompanied by two Foul Hound companions, gifts from his insane masters.

Vercix receives a +2 bonus to saves against fire and electricity effects of any kind, and he has the ability to pass through thick vegetation with no movement penalty. He may cast the following spells once per day as a 5th-level cleric (some of these spells are found in the Labyrinth Lord Advanced Edition Companion): entangle, putrefy food and water, darkness, cure light wounds, obscuring mist, barkskin, charm person, cause disease, and insect swarm.

Illustration by David Deitrick

Warhammer Storm Of Magic: Games Workshop Uses The Magic Words

Posted in Warhammer with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 27, 2011 by Kullervo

So, I’m not a big Warhammer Fantasy Battles player. I have a dwarf army and a clutter of other GW miniatures that I use for Warhammer Quest, but I haven’t actively followed the game for nearly fifteen years.

My brother, on the other hand, is a serious enthusiast, so he sent me some of the preview links from the new Storm of Magic supplement for the latest edition of WFB, and it looks like it’s the perfect combination of slick and quirky. He’s worried about what it does to game balance, but I thumb my nose at game balance. I hate game balance. I only love game awesome.

And this has game awesome, as evidenced by the web team’s use of two of my favorite words:

There’s a fantastic collection of spells and monsters in this book, from the old to the new. Who thought we’d ever see Zoats again, or the Fimir? And who could forget Assault of Stone, where the wizard can literally re-shape the battlefield around him? There are new spells for all races and even the Dwarfs get to join in with special Ancestor Runes that really are as potent as they sound.

I’m just hoping Ambulls get in this thing somehow, too.

It’s probably not enough to make my buy back into the game, but it sure is enough to hope my brother gets this so I can play with his.

New D&D Monster: Albino Alligator

Posted in Dungeons & Dragons with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 27, 2011 by Kullervo

No. Enc.: 1d6 (2d8)
Alignment: Chaotic
Movement: 90’ (30’)
Swim: 90’ (30’)
Armor Class: 5
Hit Dice: 2
Attacks: 1 (bite)
Damage: 1d8
Save: F1
Morale: 7
Hoard Class: None
XP: 29

These blind, subterranean alligators navigate by echolocation, but their subsonic screams cause extreme distraction, irritability and confusion. This effect is magnified when multiple Albino Alligators are present. Every round that a creature is within 10’ of an Albino Alligator, it must save against spells or be affected for that round as if under the influence of a confuse spell. For every Albino Alligator beyond the first one that is within 10’ of a creature, that creature must make its saving throw at a -1 modifier.

Illustration by David Deitrick

New D&D Monster: Blight Hulk

Posted in Dungeons & Dragons with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2011 by Kullervo

Blight Hulk

No. Enc.: 1 (1d3)
Alignment: Chaotic
Movement: 90’ (30’)
Armor Class: 4
Hit Dice: 4+2
Attacks: 2 (slam)
Damage: 1d8/1d8
Save: F4
Morale: 10
Hoard Class: XI
XP: 205

AA looming, 10’ mass of corpses stitched together by black, pustulent vines and roots, a Blight Hulk is a true monstrosity. Apart from its size, a Blight Hulk is immediately distinguishable by its gaping, slack maw lined with teeth of thorns and jagged bone. A Blight Hulk is utterly mindless except for an all-consuming urge to consume and destroy.

Blight Hulks are completely blind and deaf, and can only sense the presence of other creatures within 10’ by the vibrations they create. However, if attached with a missile weapon, a Blight Hulk will charge in the direction of the attack until it finds a target or is attacked from a different direction.

If a Blight Hulk hits a creature smaller than it with both slam attacks, it will shove the target down its gullet, where the target will be jabbed with rows of poisoned spines (automatic 1d6 damage per turn until the target or the Blight Hulk is dead, plus the target must save versus poison or die in 1d4 turns).

Like ordinary Blightlings, Blight Hulks are undead (and thus immune to charm, hold person and sleep) but are generally immune to turning by a cleric, except by clerics that specifically serve deities of nature or nature itself.

Illustration by David Deitrick

New D&D Monster: Giant Mutant Slime Eel

Posted in Dungeons & Dragons with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2011 by Kullervo

Giant Mutant Slime Eel

No. Enc.: 1
Alignment: Chaotic
Movement (Swim:) 120’ (40’)
Armor Class: 4
Hit Dice: 6+1
Attacks: 2 (bite, acid slime)
Damage: 2d8/2d6
Save: F4
Morale: 8
Hoard Class: VII
XP: 680

When exposed to vile magic for a long period of time, a single Slime Eel may begin to devour its own kind, grow to an enormous size and even develop an evil cunning intelligence. Such Mutant Slime Eels can grow up to 20’ in length and 5’ in diameter, their rasplike mouths grow razor-sharp, flexible chitinous plates develop in segments along their bodies, and their feeding feelers grow longer and gain prehensile dexterity. Only their simple, primitive eye and their sickly pinkish color remain the same.

An active Mutant Slime Eel generates slime that fills the water for 10’ except that the mutant slime eel’s slime is fully acidic, doing 1d6 damage per round to every creature exposed to the slime. The Mutant Slime Eel’s slime also erodes weapons and armor: each turn roll 1d6 for every non-magical weapon or piece of armor exposed to the slime. On a roll of 1, the item is dissolved.

A Mutant Slime Eel can spit its slime as a missile weapon (40’ range), doing 2d6 damage and potentially dissolving weapons and armor as above.

Illustration by David Deitrick